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Lusaka Dating Guide

Lusaka Dating

Are you a bachelor living in Lusaka? Has dating been stressful? Are you finding it difficult to navigate the dating scene? Well, your dating Guru is here to help you. Here is a list of the types of Bachelorettes you are likely to find in Lusaka.

Ms. SG

Knows exactly what she wants and who she is. Doesn’t care if she marries or not and will laugh at you if you use marriage to scare her. Smart, very ambitious and level-headed. Expects nothing but the best, will not fake orgasms.

Mrs. Somebody

Sis will start calling herself by your surname or occupation two days after you start dating. Expects you to marry her within a year, will give you the best chilangamulilo and will not complain about the lack of orgasms as long as you marry her. All about the ring.

Sugar Spice.

The sweetest girl you will ever date. She will buy you a PS4, spoil you on birthdays & anniversaries. Turn your life into a wonderland, will constantly get you gifts and make you feel blessed. Cheat on her and she will replace you in 0.78days and marry your best friend.

Ms. Mama said no.

Remember those girls your mother warned you about? This is her. She’s wild, fun and will cuss you out if you try her. You can’t resist her and are sort of afraid of her. She’s a nice girl and probably gives the best head. Sisters with Sugar spice.

Patriarchy Princess

Grew up in the church and a true proverbs 31 woman. In the church choir or Sunday school teacher. Always dresses smartly and lives by the church and traditional standards. Engaged to Pastor Bae who is cheating on her with a choir member. She will raise feminists.

Feminist Lite

Only a feminist because it makes her look woke to men. Truly a pick me and is just waiting for a man to marry her. She will drop the feminist title because she is afraid men will see her as an angry woman. Will go back to feminism once her man leaves her.

source: Twitter/curatezed